The universe may work in mysterious ways, but infidelity? That plays out in high-definition on stadium Jumbotrons. Former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron learned this the hard way when Coldplay’s “Kiss Cam” at a recent concert allegedly exposed his extra-curricular leadership strategies with Chief HR Officer Kristin Cabot.
The Moment the Music Died
Video footage shows the pair—who apparently missed the memo about not acting like horny teenagers at a family-friendly event—initially leaning in before abruptly recoiling when realizing they’d been broadcast to 50,000 people. Because nothing says “totally professional relationship” like panic-kissing your subordinate during Fix You.
Wife’s $2.4M Mic Drop
Andy’s wife, Megan Kerrigan, responded with the elegance of a woman who’s watched Gone Girl one too many times:
Vacated their $1.4M Massachusetts marital home
Relocated to a $2.4M Kennebunk property (because revenge tastes better with ocean views)
Scrubbed “Byron” from her socials faster than you can say “prenup”
“The whole town’s seen the video, but the Byrons are pretending it’s 1998 and the internet doesn’t exist,” a neighbor snarked to The New York Post.
Corporate Fallout: When HR Becomes PR Nightmare
The scandal triggered more reorganizations than a Musk-owned company:
Andy: “Resigned” as CEO (read: pushed out before shareholders could grab pitchforks)
Kristin: Still employed (because nothing says “healthy workplace culture” like promoting the woman who made out with the boss in front of God and Coldplay)
Astronomer: Hastily installed co-founder Pete DeJoy as new CEO (who’s presumably banning all future team-building concerts)
Ironically, Andy’s own LinkedIn praise for Kristin aged like milk left in the sun:
“Her deep expertise in talent management and employee engagement will be critical to our growth.”
Turns out, she was very engaged indeed.
The Toxic CEO Trope Comes Alive
Internet sleuths uncovered that Andy’s leadership style had already raised eyebrows:
Former employees described his sales obsession as “ruthless”
Glassdoor reviews hinted at a “bro culture” (now with 100% more workplace romance!)
The company’s core product? Data integrity software. The irony writes itself.
Coldplay’s Unintended Consequences
Chris Martin might sing about rules being for fools, but here’s what we learned:
Kiss Cams: The ultimate relationship polygraph
$2.4M homes: The ultimate “I’m fine, really” purchase
HR departments: Where “human resources” takes on a very literal meaning
As for Andy and Kristin? They’ve achieved the corporate equivalent of getting blacklisted from an open bar—except the bar is their careers, and the bouncer is the entire internet.
Giostanovlatto – Bali Today
